Allie Klein’s “7/10” Parenting Rule
Why progress over perfection and 10-minute play sessions matter
Usually we start the day with a household material for play. Xander’s favorite right now is the salad spinner—and he loves figuring out how it spins. We also use wooden blocks a lot. I’m constantly inspired by how willing he is to knock down his block structures and keep building. It’s a good reminder for us adults about perseverance.
The Magic of 10-minute play sessions
Since I’m a family educator it’s no surprise that one of the guiding principles in our home is to lean into play. It can be as simple as having a playful attitude about the day or walking to brush our teeth like we’re elephants with swinging trunks. I think little moments and mindsets can be playful. Just one 10-minute session can boost connection and spark imagination.
That’s why around clean up times we play a lot of music to make it more fun. We like random, upbeat songs. Xander particularly loves “Zou Bisou Bisou.” It has these French lyrics, and he’ll lay on the ground, put one leg up in the air, and move his shoulders a bit. It looks very hard, like he’s exercising or doing yoga, but he doesn’t seem to get tired. [Laughs]
The best parenting tip: Aim for 7/10, not perfection
I’m a fan of the seven out of ten rule. It’s a positive language framing technique where seven out of ten things your child hears should be positive. I’ve extrapolated that more broadly to mean don’t aim for perfection all of the time. 7/10. Like if you really care about your child playing with wooden toys instead of plastic ones, have seven out of ten be wood and three plastic. Kids don’t need you to be perfect—or even aim for perfection—all of the time.
When Xander was born, someone told me to create an Excel sheet to jot down a word, sentence, or funny or memorable thing he did every day. It takes 10 seconds to write down, and it’s amazing because you have one memory a day that’s easy to generate. After two years, I have hundreds of small moments and memories to cherish. I want to keep it going forever.
Allison Klein is an early childhood educator, author, and entrepreneur behind companies like Rose & Rex. Jason Zigelbaum is the founder of Zigpoll. They live with their son, Alexander (AKA Xander) (2), between Miami and New York City.
