Andy Dunn Talks Big Emotions with Little Kids
In our household, bedtime is mostly extortion. [Laughs] Isaiah will do anything to get another 15 minutes of more books or more cuddles with mom. It’s always more cuddles with mom. I come in a distant, meaningful second place. One evening Manuela was exhausted and he kept asking, “Mamãe! No Papai.” So I was like, “Okay, I’m gonna leave, and I’ll come back.” He finally was okay with me as his cuddle buddy, which is just how it goes.
The family rituals: 747s and scary stories
At this age, he’s fired up about jumbo jets. We go down to Midway Airport and eat Giordano’s Chicago-style deep dish pizza and the Southwest flights go right over. We have this app called Flightradar24, so we can tell him what a 747 looks like. [Laughs] It actually tells you the flight’s origins so we can point to one in the sky and tell him it’s coming from Charleston. He’s into states and countries so that’s very exciting for him.
At bedtime, the three of us do this storytelling thing where we keep moving each others’ tales forward. They always have to involve a haunted house with Halloween characters and natural disasters. It’s not a great strategy because it doesn’t put him to sleep; he wants to hear more stories.
On teaching kids emotional acuity and feeling lucky to do childcare
As parents, we hope to teach Isaiah empathy and self-awareness. When Manuela left earlier, Isaiah’s energy visibly changed. I asked, “Are you sad?” “Yeah.” “Do you want a hug?” “No.” “Do you want to play some more?” “Yeah!” And that was that. It took me 35 years to articulate whether I was sad or angry or disappointed but now it’s modern parenting 101 to help build this emotional acuity and fluency in our kids. It’s surprising how easy it is for Isaiah. He’s really forthcoming; he just needs the words.
In terms of advice, my mom said: “The person who does the most childcare is the luckiest one.” She didn’t mean it in a gender-enforcing way, but more that childcare is the most fun part about household duties. Understanding that time in this child-rearing zone is finite, and that the more time you spend doing it, the luckier you are, helps me to think differently around diaper changes or when your child is spewing hot vomit on you.
Knowing these are the magic years we’ll never get back—that really does make me feel lucky in those everyday moments.
Andy Dunn is the founding CEO of Bonobos and now Pie, an app whose aim is to defeat social isolation. Manuela Zoninsein is the founder of Kadeya, a climate-tech company eliminating single-use plastics. They live with their son, Isaiah (3), between Chicago and Rio de Janeiro.
Their interview appeared in It’s More Fun with You: 36 Families on the Everyday Magic of Raising Kids, a limited-edition book by Charmspring.
