Audrey Gelman Doesn’t Overplan Her Kids’ Schedules

In the summer, we spend a lot of time upstate. The kids run around and crawl or play with leaves and twigs or hunt for things that we’ll construct into funny structures. The freedom to roam is good for them. When they’re in nature, Sidney wants to include his sister in his own exploration. He’ll bring her things he finds like a cool looking stone or they’ll make piles together. It’s a nice change of pace because most of the time he’s like, “Don’t touch my toys!” [Laughs]

The county fairs are a big tradition for us. We love the rides, the junk food, the games. The horses and award-winning chickens are a lot more exciting to interact with than our cat. It’s very nostalgic for me because before Sid was born, I was pregnant with him and was as large as the award-winning pumpkin that year! It was like 300 pounds. I took a photo with it and still laugh about me, him, and that giant pumpkin.

Our parenting philosophy? Structured but not over-scheduled

Back in the city during school weeks we’re kind of in conveyor-belt mode. It’s making breakfast, packing lunches, getting dressed for school. It’s a scramble, but we operate on a consistent daily schedule. We try to have as much structure as possible. Not so that the fun is sucked out but so that we have stability because once it gets chaotic, it’s chaotic sleep and habits and everything.

All that said, we make sure their days aren’t overscheduled. We like Sid and Viv to have time to free play instead of us planning every hour. Because I grew up in New York City, I saw so many kids who experienced pressure at early ages to do a million things. It definitely didn’t appeal to me as a philosophy for the first years of their lives so we don’t really do too many planned classes or activities right now.

When we are food shopping, Sidney uses his “crane hand” to pick up things and place them in the basket like it’s a construction site. He recently discovered the aisle with chocolate-covered pretzels and is angling for those a lot now. That’s always a sweet weekly ritual or when we go antiquing upstate. He’s very into picking out the John Deere tractors, and I’m looking forward to the day Vivian figures out what she’s drawn to seeking out.

That night when you’re finally alone… and miss your kids

This has been said before but parenting is amazing and it’s exhausting. When you have two kids, life becomes sort of nonstop. I never thought I’d learn about every single construction equipment that exists. [Laughs] It’s really one of those things where you can’t wait until the day is over—and when they’re finally in bed, you look at pictures of them on your phone. That feels like the experience in a nutshell: Please, leave me alone. And then: Oh god, I really, really miss you.

 

Audrey Gelman owns The Six Bells, a country store of homewares from a little world far away in Cobble Hill, and the new Six Bells Inn (a storybook you can sleep in!) located in Rosendale, New York. She lives with her husband, a psychologist, and two children, Sidney (4.5) and Vivian (2), in Brooklyn.

Her interview appeared in It’s More Fun with You: 36 Families on the Everyday Magic of Raising Kids, a limited-edition book by Charmspring.